What occurs during our childhood has the potential to impact the rest of our lives, forever... if we allow it.
Many of us have a story about something that happened to us when we were a child that has stayed with us forever causing us to think, react or be a certain way. An event or circumstance so painful that it forever touches our tender heart.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we best go about releasing past traumas, especially those that happened during our childhood when they become deeply lodged into our subconscious.
When we experience trauma our experience becomes contracted – emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. We close up, we experience emotions such as anger, sadness, guilt, shame, abandonment, depression, denial, grief to name only a few.
Our perception of ourselves and the world around us is likely to shift to one of fear, scarcity, lack and we may begin to view ourselves through the eyes of the victim (which we are!).
We might feel powerless in our circumstances and we might begin to believe that we are unlovable, that we aren’t good enough, that we are unworthy, undeserving and that there is something wrong with us.
We feel disempowered and so, we are.
The thing with trauma is that if we don't release the trauma from our system it gets stuck, impacting our lives for many, many years and in some circumstances, forever.
This trauma tends to wreck havoc on our bodies. We can become sick. Injured. Develop disease. Our immune system suffers. Basically the body stores the trauma for us so that it still remains.
And the experience is made even worse when the trauma occurs during our childhood when the vast majority of our beliefs are downloaded and our subconscious is formed.
These beliefs are stored in our subconscious, which is responsible for the vast majority of everything we do, making experiences throughout these years extremely formative to how we grow and view ourselves as an individual in the world.
When we experience traumatic events as a child, we experience them from a place of powerlessness. We are just children, dependents after all. So we don’t have the benefit of personal power and identity.
We as children identify with the trauma, bring that with us through to adulthood and there begins our journey of victimhood. And then we spend the rest of our life operating from this place, validating our experience through the way we re-tell our experience.
It wasn’t our fault after all!
The issue with this approach is that we never move on. Even if we feel like mentally we have moved on, no matter what trauma you experience, if you do not release the trauma completely, it stays with you in some way. And this is not a good thing, because the trauma when repressed will manifest in some other way... negatively.
So today, I wanted to share with you some ideas for how I am now dealing with the releasing of trauma:
1. Physically release the emotion or trauma through shaking, movement or tapping.
Animals when they experience trauma physically shake the trauma out of their body, like a gazelle. We now have techniques like emotional freedom technique (otherwise known as "tapping") which are founded on a similar idea.
Almost every interview I have shared on the Create a Life that is Beautiful Podcast (a podcast designed to inspire, empower & support you on the journey of discovering & showing up for your purpose & truth in the world), each guest has shared how having a physical issue led them to discovering purpose. They couldn't ignore the emotions that were manifesting physically through their body. This is because the subconscious speaks to us through our body.
So whatever you do, make sure you do something to physically release and move the trauma from your system.
2. Emotionally release the emotion or trauma through feeling and experiencing it.
With any emotion we experience, if we do not fully express the emotion it will speak to us through our body, usually causing some kind of illness, injury, disease or situation that needs our attention. The body is so intelligent! And we cannot ignore it when it speaks to us because our body breaks down – this is a sure sign that you have an emotion that needs to be released.
By simply feeling the emotion, and moving yourself up the emotional ladder you create the space for the emotion to be properly released (much quicker than ignoring it) and for the experience of those higher vibrational emotions.
It’s like ripping off a band-aid. Immediate, shooting pain to avoid chronic, long-lasting pain. If you want to know more about how to feel your emotions, check out my earlier post on the subject here.
3. Mentally release the emotion or trauma through shifting your story so that it empowers you, rather than victimises you.
There is so much power in the stories we tell ourselves and most important of all, in our personal story. No matter what you have experienced in your life, there is a way to tell your story that empowers you and a way to tell your story that disempowers you.
A good test for this is, is the way I am telling this story putting me in the role of the victim or in a position of power? If you want help in re-writing your story, please check out this podcast episode on The Life Coach School Podcast – it is phenomenal at helping you to see and understand the difference.
The story you tell will also identify the beliefs that you hold about yourself. If these beliefs are not supporting you, there is work to be done there to change these foundations. You can check out my recent podcast episode on Mindset here, as well as my earlier blog all about thoughtwork here.
4. Spiritually release the emotion or trauma through inner child work.
Recognising that time is just a human construct, its totally possible for you to go back into those moments and look after that child, your inner child now just as much as it is possible for you to go into the future and gain any advice or wisdom from your future self.
When traumatic experiences happen during our childhood, we have the added layer of feeling completely powerless in our situation. Because we are. And this impacts the story of victimhood we relay for the rest of our lives and the way we identify with the trauma.
What we need to recognise as adults, is that if we experienced the trauma now as an adult we would be able to protect ourselves in a way that we were unable to do so as a child.
When we let go of the concept of time, it allows us to tap into our inner child and remedy what we needed in the past. Every day, I like to connect to my inner child, recognising that that inner child is always existing within me, that that child is me – I like to tell her how brave she is, what a wonderful job she did to get me here today and to explain just how much I love her.
This work is so incredibly important when it comes to trauma, because we are able to merge that hurt, frightened and perhaps unloved part of us into the person we are today and give that child the love and acceptance and protection it needed then, only today!
5. Let go of the trauma energetically.
Stop identifying with the trauma. Bring yourself into the present moment. Surrender to the present moment. Focus on the present moment. Appreciate it.
Of course first and foremost it is most important to find what works for you - go to a retreat, move, talk to a counsellor, a therapist, a coach, dance, tap, use a magnet, see a healer, go get hypnotised. DO whatever it is that is calling you to release your trauma. Just make sure you are releasing the trauma physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually and that you are engaging in a variety of practices to release it.
Nothing good comes from keeping that trauma around.
We need to release it, so we can live our happiest, healthiest and most fulfilled life and you deserve to be unencumbered by trauma.
When we release what isn’t serving us, we create the space to discover & show up for our special purpose in life, contribute from that place to the world around us and of course, create a life that is truly beautiful to us.
If you are interested in finding out about working with me on a 1-1 basis, please check out my coaching page here.
Lots of love,