This article is for anyone wanting to create a life they love, enjoy and are inspired by. A life that is truly beautiful!!
ACTION #11: FEEL your way to love
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...” - Nicholas Sparks
Feelings can be confusing. Amiright?! They have the power to light up your soul, make you feel on top of the world! AND in the blink of an eye they can leave you feeling a disheveled mess!
Feelings can drive us to do crazy things. And they can lead us to do amazing things.
Feelings can be the expansive, whisper of our soul. AND they can be the confining screams of our ego.
Stop. Move forward. Stop. Move forward. Like I said: Feelings can be confusing!
Amongst all this confusion however, feelings are a tremendous source of guidance to us. The trick is, whether they be good or bad, those feelings of ours... we need to feel them!
WHY YOU NEED TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS… GOOD & BAD
To keep things simple, let’s agree that we have 2 kinds of feelings, those that leave us feeling good (like love, happiness, joy, peace) and those that leave us feeling bad (like anger, frustration, fear, boredom, sadness).
Good or bad, when we do not stop to feel our feelings, they get tend to get stronger or manifest themselves in our lives in some other way – like getting sick, feeling burnt out, lacking in energy or feeling confused. Preventing us from moving forward.
For most of us, when we experience feelings that make us feel good, we tend to embrace these feelings, riding that high wave. YEEEEAAAAAHHHH! However, when that pit of despair, anger, frustration, boredom... FEAR settles in, we shy away from that feeling. No one wants to feel bad! We might try to repress the feeling. Distract ourselves:
No, no I’m fine! I was feeling good yesterday, so I’m gonna feel good today. I don’t have anything to feel bad about.
When we ignore these feelings however they only get stronger and they block us from experiencing something higher, like love, joy, peace and happiness. Instead, if we acknowledge the feeling and stop to feel it, we take a major step forward to releasing and moving ourselves up the emotional ladder to something higher.
Let’s have a go now!
OUR WEEKLY CHALLENGE TO CREATE A LIFE THAT IS BEAUTIFUL
Find a time each day that works for you to sit and observe how you feel – particularly if you find yourself feeling bad. Follow these steps.
1. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? Name the feeling.
2. Next, ask yourself: Why am I feeling [insert your feeling here]? Write down your answer.
3. Keep asking why? Until you get to the source. Hint: behind the bad feeling is likely to be something connected with fear. Dig deep by asking why, listening for the answer and asking why again.
4. Acknowledge the fear by writing it down: I am afraid of [insert fear here]. Really seeing the fear it for what it is.
5. Feel into this feeling of fear and the emotion that comes with it. If you need to cry, cry.
6. Start journaling everything that comes up surrounding this feeling. Just put it all on a piece of paper or on a document on your computer. Get it all out of your head. You don’t need to make sense of it, just explore and sit with this feeling. Write it out, to get it out!
7. When you feel like you have gotten everything to do with this fear out of your head (usually this is the point that you start to feel a little lighter or clearer), thank yourself for releasing this emotion. You can keep the document or delete it. Stand up and shake your body, jump up and down, dance – just move to release the emotion knowing that it will pass.
If you identified a negative thought pattern through this exercise, you might like to try the weekly action I prescribed here.
After this exercise you may still feel the emotion. This is okay. Sometimes we need more time to let it pass. Know that by feeling it, something lighter is just around the corner.
FEELING YOUR WAY TO LOVE
When we acknowledge our feelings, we create space for expansion and growth. Think of our feelings as a learning opportunity, they are an opportunity to bring us closer to those most sought after feelings, like love.
When we understand that we have the power to change our thoughts & emotions (if you didn’t read my post on this topic check it out here), sometimes we can fall into the trap of thinking we should feel good all the time. Unfortunately however, that just ain’t gonna happen because in order to feel good, we need that contrast of what it feels like to feel bad. This helps with our discernment.
Ignoring a feeling that makes us feel bad will make it stronger. When we stop and feel it, we release it, we deal with it. And we do this by stopping to sit with our feeling, explore where it is coming from, have a conversation with it. Why am I feeling this way? Get it out of your head. And learn from the feeling. What is it telling me? How can this lead me closer to love?
Allow the feeling to bring you closer to love.
Through the darkness there is light.
At the end of the day we need to remind ourselves that feelings are just feelings. They are not us. And the experience of feeling the feeling, acknowledging it, calling it by its name, allowing ourselves to feel it, experience it and release it allows us to lighten its load. Let it pass. Feel it to let it pass. Something brighter & lighter is on the other side.
This is why when we go through something horrible, like a break up or a loss of a job or partner and we do not feel our feelings and pain, they take so much longer to move on from. We must deal with them. When we ignore our feelings we also tend to use buffers to escape the feeling - again this just leads us to spiralling further downward. The only way up is to move through the pain.
Feel your way to love.
When we don’t know how to deal with our feelings, good and bad, as they arise they block us in moving forward and from being closer to love. As we go along this Create a Life that is Beautiful journey we will start to become more aware of what it is that leaves us feeling bad. We need to thank our beautiful bodies and mind for alerting us to these issues that need to be dealt with. Every feeling is an opportunity to learn and to bring us closer to love.
Feel your way back to love this week through our exercise above and see how you are able to transform your experience.
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If you know anyone else who would resonate with the Create a Life that is Beautiful journey or who might like to know more about any of the actions I have shared, please share this post with them.
As always, if you need any support at any moment along this journey, please: leave me a comment; send me a message; or send me an email, to let me know how you are doing. I care and I appreciate you.
You are worthy and wonderful, with so much to contribute to the world! We all have unique skills, abilities and interests and I wholeheartedly believe that by embracing those, finding your platform and choosing love, joy and inspiration along the way you make the world a better place. :-)
Lots of love,