This article is for anyone wanting to create a life they love, enjoy and are inspired by. A life that is truly beautiful in YOUR eyes!!
ACTION #14: BUILD YOUR TRIBE
'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with' – Jim Rohn
Are you ready to get yourself a posse of people you love to be around?
Who light you up, energise and support you in achieving your dreams?
And... who inspire you?
Well get ready lovely! This week on the Create a Life that is Beautiful journey we are going to build a wonderful tribe of people who do just that! Setting you up with the best environment possible for your continued growth, fulfillment and success.
Our environment, including the people who make up our environment, matters. And with all the work we have been doing on this journey you may have noticed that you have become more aware of the way people make you feel and who you feel most in alignment with.
This is fabulous news!! Because this means you can now get intentional!
Thankfully today we are so well connected that we have a whole wide world of people we can connect with as friends and teachers. We have more power and control over who makes up our inner circle than ever before.
So... if you are hanging around people who dislike their life; drain your energy; dump their problems on you; are not growing; don’t accept you for YOU; are jealous of your success; or, who do not support you in following your dreams... it is time to lovingly distance yourself from these people as they are actually blocking you from moving forward in creating the life you really want!! This is because:
Environment is stronger than willpower. – Parmahansa Yogananda
So let’s discuss now the 2 key types of people every single person needs in their tribe of special people to give them the best chance of success on this Create a Life that is Beautiful journey.
a tribe who LIFTs YOU UP AND PROPELs YOU FORWARD
We all need people around us who lift us up and propel us forward. These are the people who:
· You feel supported, uplifted and energised to be around.
· You enjoy being around.
· Accept you, for YOU.
· Cheer you on in fulfilling and living your dreams.
· Respect that you are the best judge of what is right for you.
· Share similar values and you feel aligned to be around.
These beautiful people make you feel amazing to be around. You feel seen and heard. They allow you to show up completely as yourself and they appreciate and accept you for who you are. You feel comfortable sharing your dreams with them and they do their best to support you in achieving them. They understand you, they hear you and while they might have different interests they respect and value yours.
These special people in our lives are so important to us and our development. They cheer us on. They are the people who when our own inner critic flares up and tells us we “aren’t good enough”, remind us that we are.
These are the people who ought to make up your inner circle.
a tribe of people who inspire you
In addition to the people who lift us up and propel us forward, it is also essential that our beautiful tribe of people include those who inspire you. These people are in some way or another, an example of what you aspire to be. They are our role models who:
· Show us what is possible.
· Motivate and challenge us to try something new, to keep going and to be brave.
· Teach us how from their own experience we can move forward.
· Highlight something we desire in our own life.
Any tribe is incomplete without these wonderful people. They help us to move forward on our big vision, our dreams and are essential to creating a life that you are inspired by. They are a shining beacon of light on your journey. And just as with the people who lift you up and propel you forward, you do not need to be limited by the people you have in your physical environment - you can find and follow these people on social media. They can be virtual mentors!
OUR WEEKLY CHALLENGE TO CREATE A LIFE THAT IS BEAUTIFUL
This week on the Create a Life that is Beautiful journey you are going to look at who makes up your inner circle, how these special people make you feel and who you have as role models in your life. All with the intention of crafting a beautiful supportive, uplifting and inspiring tribe of people around you.
To do just that, I invite you to try the following exercises:
1. Write a list of the people you regard as making up your inner circle. These people are likely to be your closest friends or family members or even colleagues. Next to each person, write down the following:
a. How do I feel when I am around [insert name]? Do I feel uplifted or drained? Do I feel supported or not? Do I enjoy being around them? Do we have fun together? Are we able to connect on a deep level (without the use of any substances)?
b. Are they an example of a life you want to lead? Do you share similar values or interests? Are they living a life they love + enjoy? Do they understand what lights me up?
c. Do I feel good about myself when I am around this person? Do I feel accepted for being me? Do I feel like I can be myself around them? Do I feel heard and seen? Are they the kind who will remind me of my amazingness when I forget? Do I feel appreciated?
2. At the end of each day this week, before your evening ritual, write down a separate list of the names of the people you spent the most time with that day (whether in person, virtually or on social media). Make a note of how each person made you feel. For example, did you feel:
a. Energised, supported and uplifted?
b. Motivated and inspired?
c. Seen and heard?
d. Comfortable in being you?
3. Write a list of the people currently in your life who make you feel uplifted, energised and supported in being YOU.
4. Write a list of 10 people you know, whether virtually, on social media or in person, who inspire you.
5. At the end of the week, review the lists you prepared above and highlight the names of all the people who make you feel good to be around. These are the people you will have recognised make you feel uplifted, energised and supported to be around and/or who inspire you. Transfer these names to a new list entitled: My Tribe.
Going forward, you want to concentrate on spending more time with these people - they are the people who will make up your wonderful inner circle of your tribe.
6. Take note of the people who don't make you feel this way. Going forward, you want to concentrate on minimising the amount of time or contact you have with these people. Lovingly part ways with them and if you have to be around them for any reason, just make sure you are aware of how you feel when you are around them and enforce some boundaries to protect that beautiful energy of yours. Sign up for my free weekly newsletter below if you would like to know more about enforcing boundaries - I will be sharing more on next week's newsletter!
7. Celebrate yourself for taking this amazing intentional step. This is self-love baby!
THE EVOLUTION OF FRIENDSHIPS
In order to feel fulfilled, we need to be growing and evolving constantly. What this means for our relationships and friendships is that some will grow and evolve with us and others will not. Often this separation is viewed as a betrayal by one or the other involved. How would it feel to view these changes instead as simply a reflection of where each of us are on our own journey?
Support your friendships by allowing them to grow and evolve in the best way possible for them and for you. For the highest good for all. You can love people from a distance.
It is a beautiful thing when relationships evolve with you. And it is a beautiful thing to be able to look fondly upon the relationships you have had the pleasure of experiencing, knowing that you each respected the others need to grow and evolve.
Who knows they might just float back into your life in the future at the right time for both of you. How beautiful is that?
KEEPING YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET CLEAN
This topic also gives us an opportunity to reflect on the role that we play in our relationships as well.
Do we expect the people around us to make us happy?
To take on our problems as if they were their own?
To share in our misery?
If we do, this places an unfair burden on our friendships and we need to make sure we too are keeping our side of the street clean. Are we showing up for the people that we are around, for the people we value, for the people we want to have in our tribe?
Keep your side of the street clean.
You need to be where you need to be right now and so does everyone else. Sometimes this means we are together, sometimes this means we are not. Just be where you need to be and make sure you are keeping your side of the street clean.
Often we feel stuck in our circumstances and particularly with the people we have in our life. However, as I mentioned above for many of us because we are now connected all over the world we have more choice than ever before. We can build virtual relationships, we can consume information and material from people who inspire us without having any kind of in person two way relationship and yet they might be some of the most important people in your life. Making you feel both supported, uplifted and inspired just by sharing their voice.
Whatever interests you have, do a search online and sign up for the newsletters of the people who make you feel this way. Buy their books, listen to their podcast, their Youtube channel, read their posts, follow them on social media, attend their meet ups, reach out to them by email and introduce yourself, tell them how much their work means to you. Befriend people who love them too - chances are you will also like them!!
Think of your social media, as an extension of your physical space. All the people you follow, or have in your feed, should also be people who inspire you or lift you up and propel you forward. If not, remove them! Simple as that. You have finite mental space and you need to fill that space with the people who support your growth.
For me, moving away from my home in Sydney to London meant that I had an opportunity to really dig into this aspect of my life. I was forced to build a network from the ground up. What seemed like such a daunting task at first was actually a beautiful opportunity to get intentional. Before that time I concentrated on having around people who liked me enough to be around me, rather than considering whether I actually liked them and how I felt being around them. So I filled my time with people virtually at first and then slowly but surely I became connected with people who shared similar interests to me and most importantly, inspired me, and a beautiful network of friendships have grown based on ME being ME. It really is wonderful!
And with my #2017isfinewithoutwine journey I also realised the importance of the people who you connect with without the need for alcohol. So I also encourage you to consider the relationships that do not revolve around drinking alcohol. We drink to escape or make our life feel better, when both parties are doing this, neither of you are able to really grow and move forward.
As we move further along our journey to Create a Life that is Beautiful ensuring that the people we spend our time with are inspiring, uplifting and supporting us becomes more important than ever. We get to step up into our authenticity and share this with a tribe of people who appreciate us for who we are and we them. It really is beautiful!
Soooooo come join me this week in completing our weekly challenge above, our 7 stepsto start you building a wonderful tribe of people who lift you up and propel you forward and who inspire you!
What is the Create a Life that is Beautiful journey?
I am on a mission to help as many people as possible create a life they love, enjoy and are inspired by. A life that is truly beautiful in their eyes! Create a Life that is Beautiful is a free program I have created to do just that.
Every Sunday, I share an action that you can implement into your daily routine for the week ahead to do help you create a life you love, enjoy and are inspired by. To get an idea of the actions I share you can find the ones I have already released here. To join us on this journey, all you need to do is "Subscribe and Join the Tribe' using the sign up form below below.
Do you know anyone else who might resonate with the Create a Life that is Beautiful journey? I would be honoured if you could please share this post with them. The more the merrier!
And if you need support at any moment along this journey, please: leave me a comment; send me a message; or send me an email.
I care and I appreciate you.
You are worthy and wonderful, with so much to contribute to the world! We all have unique skills, abilities and interests and I wholeheartedly believe that by embracing those, finding your platform and choosing love, joy and inspiration along the way you make the world a better place. :-)
Lots of love,